Things We Don’t Want to See in 2009

I’ll start, you finish.

  • The shaved head, goatee look. Real original, guys.
  • Myspace. Myspace is the new Bluetooth. And that’s not a good thing.
  • Disgraceful coverage of the new president’s daughters. Probably less likely than what we saw with Dubya’s kids, but they didn’t ask for the spotlight, nor have Obama’s daughters.
  • Priuses. Seriously.
  • The Patriot Act. Just kill it, already.
  • Twitter.
  • “Rock star” as a description for anyone in politics.
  • “Bro” prefixes, and all derivations. “Bromance.” “Mantastic.” Ad nauseum.
  • Bill Clinton.
  • Warren Buffet.
  • Green as a marketing tool.
  • “Global climate change” as anything but a punchline.
  • Sarah Jessica Parker. Come on. She looks like a foot.
  • Fertility treatments for people who, clearly, God does not want to have children.
  • New reality cooking shows.
  • Lost

What have you got?


  1. Matt says:

    SNL skits about Bush, Cheney, or Palin
    Political appointments of unqualified cronies
    Racial offense at scientific terms
    News stories about sagging pants, with photos

  2. Bethany says:

    Excuses from the Dallas Cowboys?

  3. Doug says:

    LOST???? That is a great show!

    I don’t want to see long skirts…..bring on the micro mini’s!

  4. Peterk says:


  5. CJ says:

    Your server doesn’t have enough memory for my complete list, so here’s my Top 10:

    10. NFL training camp or scouting combine news
    9. Dumbass reality shows (wait, that’s redundant…)
    8. Those ugly-ass tops that females wear with the seam just below the boobs that makes them look like they’re pregnant
    7. “Pit bulls are Satan-spawn” stories
    6. Quotes from TV or movie stars on subjects they know absolutely nothing about
    5. TIME magazine covers with Obama on them (Another one? Seriously?)
    4. Sonic commercials with those two retards trying to be funny while shilling crappy food
    3. Gazillion-dollar lawsuits over damaged pants
    2. “Sudden” accounting error discoveries by any Dallas-area agency (yeah, I know – wishful thinking)
    And 1. Jessica Simpson – unless she’s not wearing clothes

  6. I love it. Keep ‘em coming, y’all.

  7. Ed Cognoski says:

    kids on our lawn

  8. Steve says:

    10. John Wiley Price
    9. Taxpayer bailouts of failing corporations
    8. Keith Olbermann’s Special Comments
    7. The words “hope” and “change”
    6. Donovan McNabb’s Hall of Fame Status. A resounding NO, btw.
    5. Smoking bans
    4. The end of newspapers. This is the year they come storming back!
    3. Michael Moore
    2. Jack E. Jett
    1. White Guilt

  9. another steve says:

    Lists in lieu of writing.

  10. yet another steve says:


  11. Missy says:

    I can’t stop laughing at your Sarah Jessica Parker comment….

  12. For the record... says:

    *kids’ athletics without obnoxious parents lawsuiting/fighting, especially upper-class soccer moms
    *anguished editorials about kids’ athletics, especially highlighting upper-class soccer moms
    *focus bars (absinthe bars, etc.); just serve it, but don’t make it a Holy Grail
    *canonization of Brett Favre
    *fewer lawsuits, more cowbell
    *fewer once-humorous calls for “more cowbell”
    *red-light-cameras operated by private companies
    *no more high-profile, solve-nothing, cost-plenty anti-drug campaigns such as “D.A.R.E.”; did you notice that Obama has not yet appointed an official “drug czar”, even though he’s already named such positions as White House photographer?
    *on the distaff side of the “bro-” thing, fewer calls to/from “sistahs”
    *Jerry Jones

  13. Becca says:

    Rick Perry’s hair.

  14. john III says:

    5. Pouting bloggers who give it, but can’t take it.
    4. Defensiveness about Dallas criticism
    3. Mayor Tom’s pimp suits
    2. $30k Millionaires
    1. Dallas Cowboy Drama
    1a. Prickly, depressive alcoholic editors

  15. Chuck says:

    “Design Star” shows (my wife likes that crap)
    Students answering test questions in “text speak”
    Party hacks (from both sides) constantly spinning their side’s bull.

    I won’t have much luck, but I can dream. :)