Comments on: My Sunday DMN Column, Available Today

By: Sammie Jenkins

Sammie Jenkins — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:39:34 +0000

I enjoyed this article! I am a mentor and believe this is one of the biggest problems in all communities. Not only do I agree but I think that sons and daughters are hurt by fathers not being there for them. You made great points about young males but the females are also included in this cycle. Some women run from guy to guy trying to get the love that their father didn’t give.

This instance happened in my family where my little cousin was growing up and going from guy to guy. Eventually something fatal happened and her body was found. A few months later her brother was charged with attempted murder. Both of these kids did not have their father in their lives.

But to get back on your subject false manhood; this is one reason why I became a mentor, although I don’t have kids I feel that we should all pitch in and help our community.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 19:56:40 +0000

I’m pretty sure the medical supply manufacturer markets it under a different name than “turkey baster.” It probably has a science-labby name. But in a pinch, no doubt a turkey baster could be, um, pressed into service.

By: keith johnson

keith johnson — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:54:04 +0000

“3) Just this weekend I learned that an ex-girlfriend of mine from some years back is now the single mother of a bouncing baby boy. The father? A turkey baster. I am. Not. Kidding.”-Daniel

That situation begs for a Fathers Day/Thanksgiving joke….

By: Phillip J Hubbell

Phillip J Hubbell — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 20:26:32 +0000

A lot of the damage was done long ago and some of the fallout from that damage is the ensuing culture that is now spreading into other neighborhoods and into the homes of kids who have fathers. If your well raised son chooses “gangster” culture as his vehicle for rebellion the poison caused by the lack of fathers poisons the surrounding society. We now have a popular culture born of absentee fatherhood that preaches that criminality is cool and mistreatment of women is attractive to women.

Not sure where the solutions lie either.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:01:15 +0000

Ballsy, Trey. I’d say “kudos” if I didn’t think people who say “kudos” should be shot, and if I didn’t know you have the guns to do so. So, “here’s to ya.”

Random tangents:

1) Black mother with 8- or 9-year old daughter in car at red light. Spirited mother-daughter singalong, right out of a credit card commercial — almost. The song: Shake that fuckin’ ass, girl, shake that fuckin’ ass; shake that fuckin’ ass, girl, shake that fuckin’ ass.

2) You describe the boys who need a father, but you forgot to mention that they are fathers. Or, rather, “fathers.” Or will be soon. It’s a tight loop.

3) Just this weekend I learned that an ex-girlfriend of mine from some years back is now the single mother of a bouncing baby boy. The father? A turkey baster. I am. Not. Kidding.

By: John Jay Myers

John Jay Myers — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 02:26:21 +0000

An article so nice, I read it twice.

I think Shawns had some grounded points on what I see as causes, if you raise kids in an atmosphere of rap music and disrepect, than you may expect disrespect to be the result.
Though not having a father there to kick some respect into your butt… has a lot to do with it as well.

I would never believe in censoring music, I do however believe in parents being involved in their childrens lives enough to teach them right from wrong. If it was music alone that corrupts shouldn’t I still be bighting the heads off bats?

That is the unfortunate side effect of being a single mother it’s hard to find the time to be that involved in your childs life, without as Barack Obama had a grand parent support structure.

We do have a system that seems to reward mothers for being a single mother, but the fact is that the system only keeps people at poverty level. I am not for increasing that number, I am for doing away with the system so it doesn’t sound like an “opportunity” and would then encourage family.

Believe me it would not be as bad as I just made it sound.

By: Tom Sandlin

Tom Sandlin — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:31:09 +0000

Thank you for your column re Culture of Disrespect. Between yourself and Shawn Williams, you described the problem and what’s needed to attack the problem about as well as it can be described. I have thought for some time that the problem is rooted in an effective bailout of the black male community. That’s not to say that there aren’t some black males doing yoeman service in attacking the problem, but there surely is a lack generally of black males adopting a “hands on, get my hands dirty, be prepared to give a bunch of time and effort” attitude in order to have much impact on the problem. Voluminous overheated rhetoric and accusations against whitey, or the government, or anyone else won’t even scratch the surface of the problem. This kind of problem is the direct result of a general waving our finger at responsible behavior in our society. It isn’t confined to the black community, but surely is a standout example in this instance of cause and effect.

Tom Sandlin
Krum, TX

By: Rawlins Gilliland

Rawlins Gilliland — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:14:18 +0000

I agree completely with Frank R. (and certainly regarding Bill Cosby…a legit African-American trailblazer hero if ever there was one…whose contributions and ground breaking career(s) have been plowed under somehow this century. Particularly in the black community where he was later marginalized, deemed a turncoat./relic)

But to the point, I appreciated both columns because on one hand you have a black writer making no excuses and no apologies so that the truth shines through and not the bias….while Trey’s piece corrals his sincere relish for intense and solid opinion thought while avoiding his ‘burn the bridge, take no prisoners’ rowdy neo-libertarianism that trips over itself from time to time. This was a pair of disciplined works by working pros; a refreshing exchange of comprised thinking by two independent thinkers (who undoubtedly are also fine fathers. )

By: Frank R

Frank R — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 21:01:13 +0000

Here are the numbers: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/homicide/race.htm
While homicides for blacks has declined since they peaked in approximately 1993, they remain at more than twice the level of whites.

Both articles were good and both presented different facets of the problem. Although the studies relating single parent families, specifically fatherless families, to homicide are correlational, it’s hard to argue that there is no causal connection. One of the enormous failures of the “Great Society,” is the proliferation of single parent families endemic in the black population. This is the elephant in the living room that plays into so many other issues.

Although I give credit to Obama for his speech and for speaking out on this earlier, Bill Cosby beat him to the punch by several years. He also took an enormous amount of flack for saying what he did.

By: Prufrock

Prufrock — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:45:01 +0000

Your statistics do not match well with your claims: you describe the trend towards more black single-mother households in one paragraph but then later offer that homicide victimization pinpoint-statistic comparing blacks and whites, which doesn’t logically flow all that well and hints at the tactics of AGW doomsayers. Why not show what the homicide or other crime trends were in relation to the single-mother trends?
Or are the trends negative, as are overall trends of violent crime in the U.S. over the past decade or so?

And I wonder if the problem is not women who can’t raise men, but that these young people grow up in families that are dependent on government rather than families that see hard work and self-reliance as virtues. It isn’t good for girls growing up in that environment, either, although young women’s failings tend to manifest in ways other than violence – such as willingly perpetuating this broken family cycle. Maybe the problem isn’t only men failing to be men, but also women failing to be women. Unfortunately, the word “woman” is more often used derogatorily rather than is seen as something to aspire to.