My Speech Will Be Fabulous. My Shoes, Not So Much

I’m speaking to the Log Cabin Republicans this Monday, Nov. 23 at 7 p.m. It’s open invite, but please RSVP here so they can have the right size room reserved.

What will I talk about? I may just recite Stan Smith’s speech. And work on my musical number:


  1. Some tips says:

    While speaking, remember to randomly pick audience members and wink at them.

    Wear a t-shirt and pants that are way too tight.

    If there’s mingling before or after your speech, make sure to touch other guys on the butt, then make eye contact for at least 10 seconds.

  2. Anonymous says:

    You’ll want to do a Q & A, and record the whole thing.


    Because you need to have a good demo tape that shows your witty personality.


    Because it’ll get you onto TV as a libertarian pundit! Will it be Hardball? Red Eye? Beck? Who knows, but I can see it now: “Joining us now, journalist and sybarite Trey Garrison. Trey, welcome!”

    Go Trey!

  3. Jim says:

    I’m certain the shoes will have lifts, if nothing else.

  4. Mike Lee says:


    Just want to say that I enjoyed your speech; and, more importantly, enjoyed meeting you and Cindy.

    Have a great day and a Happy Thanksgiving!

    Mike Lee