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Captain Sully Doesn’t Want TSA Groping His Junk, Either

November 16, 2010 By Trey Garrison 4 Comments

And this is a man with a pair on him that clang like church bells, they’re so big.

So the TSA says if you don’t want to step into the we-can-see-you-naked x-ray machine, you’ve got to let a gloved TSA employee run a hand over your lady or gentleman parts, all in the name of airport security.

But wait! In steps every American’s favorite pilot, the Hudson splash-landing hero of Flight 1549 fame, Sully Sullenberger, to say, you know what? Keep your hands to yourselves. “I can tell you from my perspective as an airline pilot for three decades, this just isn’t an effective use of our resources.”

Sully gracefully glided into the story just as the cable nets were whipping themselves into a junk-touching frenzy over the camera phone video of passenger John Tyner’s run in with the TSA at San Diego’s airport, telling agents he considered the uber-sensitive search to be, essentially, a sexual assault, advising agents (and creating a phrase that pays) “don’t touch my junk.”

Filed Under State Security, TSA Brownshirts

Repeat After Me: None of Your Business. Am I Free To Go?

September 9, 2010 By Trey Garrison 3 Comments

My love of the TSA and the mouth-breathing pickpockets and gropers is widely known.images

So it should come to you as no surprise this guy — also a Reason contributor –  is my new man crush for how he handled overbearing Customs and Border Protection agents.

“Why were you in China?” asked the passport control officer, a woman with the appearance and disposition of a prison matron.

“None of your business,” I said.

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“I’m not going to be interrogated as a pre-condition of re-entering my own country,” I said.

This did not go over well. She asked a series of questions, such as how long I had been in China, whether I was there on personal business or commercial business, etc. I stood silently.

Read his whole encounter here.

Filed Under Liberty, Meddlesome Scolds, State Security, TSA Brownshirts

Wednesday Roundup: It’s Worse Than You Think

May 13, 2009 By Trey Garrison 3 Comments

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  • When asked if (NTTA) sees a conflict of interest with the judge (for NTTA toll fines) being an employee of the NTTA and hearing cases related to tollway violations, Davis stated “no not at all.” And they want to keep public records from the public. And they spend tollway money on first class sight-seeing junkets to Europe. Yeah, no problem at all.
  • Define “bad ass” — a soldier from Fort Worth in Afghanistan in boxers and flip-flops, and he’s all out of bubblegum.
  • So now a three-judge panel has ruled that open meetings laws go too far in a case coming out of Alpine, Texas, and that elected officials should be free to discuss public matters privately. Basically, those pesky open meetings laws violate the First Amendment rights of our civil masters servants. This is a road we want to go down. If we’re tired of this whole “constitutional republic” thing. Thankfully, several state AG’s, including the Texas AG, are seeking to get this really bad ruling reviewed. (h/t Grits for Breakfast.) As if it’s not hard enough getting public records and information in Dallas County.
  • Via Big Bob: In trying to slap a tax on gentlemen’s clubs — despite there being no correlation between strip clubs and sexual assaults — the Lege has just given every strip club a good reason to drop their cover charge. Unintended consequences, sometimes I love you.

Filed Under Creepy Guys in the Park, Liberty, Politics, State Security, Zombies